Sad but true
Photo: Kristin Hoebermann
Before Christen Clifford started talking dirty about her parents' sex life, she was getting everyone's knickers in a twist by talking dirty about being a parent. Yeah, she said "mother" and "sex" in the same sentence. Call the family values brigade! Her show BabyLove is currently Off-Broaday; it's showing Tuesdays and Sundays at 45 Bleecker until July 27. If you're outside NYC, you can catch her musings on the topic at her blog, where she took part in Babeland's Sexy Mama Blog project.
Em & Lo: So tell us about your show...
Christen Clifford: BabyLove is a solo comedy about maternal sexuality: everything from trying to conceive to masturbating while breastfeeding; from the humiliations of postpartum sex to the eroticism of parenthood.
What made you want to write about this topic?
After I had my son Felix, I was confused about my body, my relationship with my husband, and the intimacy I shared with my newborn son. My sexuality was so changed by motherhood. I'm a reader and writer, so I turned to books and didn't find women's sexual experience addressed to my satisfaction.
Why do you think people get so het up about motherhood and sexuality in the same sentence?
Power. The power of procreation and the power of sexuality combined is a pretty strong bomb. Maybe that's why I love being pregnant so much...because I feel truly strong and powerful and creative. I also think that our society is so sexually permissive in so many ways, but still so Puritan. Breasts can be seen on billboards but not in an advertisement for breastfeeding. That's what they are for!
Has the reaction to the show changed now that you're Off-Broadway--are your audiences more easily shocked now than your early downtown-NYC audiences?
I do get more conservative audiences who are shocked by how explicit the show is--but it's not explicitness for its own sake, it's explicit in an attempt to portray sexuality honestly. I do my best to win them over and I usually succeed. I try to set myself up as the extreme example that I hope most people can find a sliver of their own experience in. And everything I talk about in this show is true, and I think audiences, no matter what their background, relate to someone telling the truth.
What's been the most negative reaction to this show?
The most negative reaction was actually when it was published on Nerve.com, some readers wrote in that I should have my son taken away from me, that Protective Services should be called, that my husband should divorce me and get full custody...it was very scary and hurtful and I didn't sleep for days...because I wrote about the intimate physical relationship with my son.
But I get so many more people who say things like, "Thank you for telling it like it is! " or "Now I don't feel so alone and crazy anymore." One woman wrote to me and said that she and husband stayed up all night talking after seeing the show, that they were finally able to talk about how becoming parents had affected their sex life after seeing BabyLove. And they were able to laugh at me and therefore at themselves--I was so moved by this, it really made me feel like I was doing good in the world!
Can you share the story about getting interrupted by the FedEx guy while masturbating...
Let's just say it proved to me that motherhood and sex didn't go together. [Ed: You can get the unabridged version here.]
So...what was that you were saying about the eroticism of breastfeeding...
Well, this amazing little being came out of my body and was now eating my body. The fat from my thighs was literally transferring to his thighs. Breastfeeding was the most physically intimate experience I ever had. Plus, it's physics--that small mouth has a lot of suction! It's pleasurable; there is a biological imperative for us to keep the species going.
You say that you found your first pregnancy a super-sexy experience but afterward struggled a bit...so what's the secret to sex after kids?
Oh God, I don't have any answers, it's different for everyone. Humor. Time. Marriage counseling. Scheduled sex. Talking. I'm doing my best to not sweat the small stuff, as they say--which is particularly hard when I'm clearly right about everything all the time.
You're pregnant again, right? Has it been the same with this pregnancy? Or is pregnant sex not quite the same when you've already got one kid around?
Yes, I'm in my second trimester (the horny trimester!) and we're putting our son to bed later so we can have alone time in the morning. I'm one of those women who loves being pregnant. The hormones agree with me, I love my changed body, the bigger breasts, all that extra blood flowing. I feel very womanly. And there's a sense of my sexuality being respected and socially sanctioned, which is a strange feeling...it's kind of like having a big hickey that everybody's okay with.
For more information, visit BabyLovethePlay.com.
Reblogged with MessageDance using Google Reader | Reply On Twitter
via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 6/24/08
Photo: Kristin Hoebermann
Before Christen Clifford started talking dirty about her parents' sex life, she was getting everyone's knickers in a twist by talking dirty about being a parent. Yeah, she said "mother" and "sex" in the same sentence. Call the family values brigade! Her show BabyLove is currently Off-Broaday; it's showing Tuesdays and Sundays at 45 Bleecker until July 27. If you're outside NYC, you can catch her musings on the topic at her blog, where she took part in Babeland's Sexy Mama Blog project.
Em & Lo: So tell us about your show...
Christen Clifford: BabyLove is a solo comedy about maternal sexuality: everything from trying to conceive to masturbating while breastfeeding; from the humiliations of postpartum sex to the eroticism of parenthood.
What made you want to write about this topic?
After I had my son Felix, I was confused about my body, my relationship with my husband, and the intimacy I shared with my newborn son. My sexuality was so changed by motherhood. I'm a reader and writer, so I turned to books and didn't find women's sexual experience addressed to my satisfaction.
Why do you think people get so het up about motherhood and sexuality in the same sentence?
Power. The power of procreation and the power of sexuality combined is a pretty strong bomb. Maybe that's why I love being pregnant so much...because I feel truly strong and powerful and creative. I also think that our society is so sexually permissive in so many ways, but still so Puritan. Breasts can be seen on billboards but not in an advertisement for breastfeeding. That's what they are for!
Has the reaction to the show changed now that you're Off-Broadway--are your audiences more easily shocked now than your early downtown-NYC audiences?
I do get more conservative audiences who are shocked by how explicit the show is--but it's not explicitness for its own sake, it's explicit in an attempt to portray sexuality honestly. I do my best to win them over and I usually succeed. I try to set myself up as the extreme example that I hope most people can find a sliver of their own experience in. And everything I talk about in this show is true, and I think audiences, no matter what their background, relate to someone telling the truth.
What's been the most negative reaction to this show?
The most negative reaction was actually when it was published on Nerve.com, some readers wrote in that I should have my son taken away from me, that Protective Services should be called, that my husband should divorce me and get full custody...it was very scary and hurtful and I didn't sleep for days...because I wrote about the intimate physical relationship with my son.
But I get so many more people who say things like, "Thank you for telling it like it is! " or "Now I don't feel so alone and crazy anymore." One woman wrote to me and said that she and husband stayed up all night talking after seeing the show, that they were finally able to talk about how becoming parents had affected their sex life after seeing BabyLove. And they were able to laugh at me and therefore at themselves--I was so moved by this, it really made me feel like I was doing good in the world!
Can you share the story about getting interrupted by the FedEx guy while masturbating...
Let's just say it proved to me that motherhood and sex didn't go together. [Ed: You can get the unabridged version here.]
So...what was that you were saying about the eroticism of breastfeeding...
Well, this amazing little being came out of my body and was now eating my body. The fat from my thighs was literally transferring to his thighs. Breastfeeding was the most physically intimate experience I ever had. Plus, it's physics--that small mouth has a lot of suction! It's pleasurable; there is a biological imperative for us to keep the species going.
You say that you found your first pregnancy a super-sexy experience but afterward struggled a bit...so what's the secret to sex after kids?
Oh God, I don't have any answers, it's different for everyone. Humor. Time. Marriage counseling. Scheduled sex. Talking. I'm doing my best to not sweat the small stuff, as they say--which is particularly hard when I'm clearly right about everything all the time.
You're pregnant again, right? Has it been the same with this pregnancy? Or is pregnant sex not quite the same when you've already got one kid around?
Yes, I'm in my second trimester (the horny trimester!) and we're putting our son to bed later so we can have alone time in the morning. I'm one of those women who loves being pregnant. The hormones agree with me, I love my changed body, the bigger breasts, all that extra blood flowing. I feel very womanly. And there's a sense of my sexuality being respected and socially sanctioned, which is a strange feeling...it's kind of like having a big hickey that everybody's okay with.
For more information, visit BabyLovethePlay.com.
Reblogged with MessageDance using Google Reader | Reply On Twitter
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