Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The New York City Sex Bloggers 2009 Calendar



via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 11/3/08

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NYC sex blogger Urban Gypsy, aka Tess Danesi, had the bright idea just a few weeks ago to create a pin-up calendar of NYC sex writers, educators, and filmmakers in support of Audacia Ray's Sex Work Awareness Project. And now, with a sponsorship by Njoy (among others), a photo shoot by Stacie Joy at the Slipper Room, and a forthcoming release party on Friday, Nov. 14 from 6:30 to 9:30 at the White Rabbit, it's already a reality. We spoke with Tess about the shoot n' shit:

If you were giving the quick, one-sentence descriptive tagline for each of the calendar's pin-ups, what would it be?

Mariella Ella (first on left) is the recently deflowered virgin of the bunch -- a shy, doe-eyed college student toting around a burgeoning bowl full of cherries and an unhealthy obsession for Faulkner.

Rachel Kramer Bussel (second from left) is the hot nerdy girl with glasses that cover the biggest, warmest brown eyes ever, a wicked knowing smile and a penchant for spanking -- both giving and receiving.

Tess (third from left) may be a New Yorker but she's really a gypsy at heart, albeit a gypsy who sees herself frolicking through the forest clad in garments from the season Givenchy was high on the peasant aesthetic, nimbly avoiding stray branches and skipping over rivulets in her newest pair of Pucci stilettos.

Sinclair Sexsmith (fourth from left) is a classically trained poet and kinky queer butch top with a weakness for avocados, whiskey, gender theory, and submissive femmes.

Diva (face hidden) is June Cleaver gone awry. While her pearls were formerly found only wrapped around her neck, these days they are more than likely to be found wrapped around her lover's erection.

Riese (back & center) is the sarcastic and sassy bisexual who never wears heels in real life and doesn't actually have a sex blog, but thinks sex is really sexy.

Jamye Waxman (front & center) has been dubbed "my girl crush" (oops, no that's another story altogether), the "nexxxt generation of sex educator" by wired.com. When spoken in her sexy, husky voice, even the word urethra sounds hot.

Desiree (fifth from right) is a brainy, sexy, foodie, geeky, writer chick from New York who has always had an inclination toward the naughty and whose absolute favorite topic of conversation is sex.

Lux Alptraum (fourth from right) is obsessed with the Internet, computers and sex. You'll have to ask her in what order.

Twanna A. Hines (third from right) is funky, brown and most definitely a chick. "After Ellen" online calls her "one of those women who oozes sexuality." She's also as sharp as Gouda cheese; she even speaks Dutch!

Audacia Ray (second from right) is the embodiment of brainy and sexy wrapped up in one voluptuous package. She has a hidden love of food and a much more overt love of tattoos.

Dr. Elizabeth Wood (first on right), the brilliant academic with flowing waist-length hair, reconnected with her inner girly-girl on this shoot, discovering that a little glam doesn't really hurt (not much anyway)...

Who had the best outfit at the shoot and what was it?...

Jamye had the best Wonder Woman costume ever. She had frilly blue panties with stars glued above her crotch and a red bikini top. It got even better when she went scouring Orchard Street for a golden lasso of truth. In my opinion, Jamye truly is Wonder Woman. Audacia's ceramic corset also made for a fabulous dark and moody shot. Her boobs are nearly incandescent against the red and black of the corset.

Did anyone get naked, or topless, for the shoot?

Well of course there was the all-girl, all-naked romp in the hotel room after the shoot. Oh wait, you meant not just in my imagination, right? We sex bloggers are not as hedonistic as some would like to think, so there's no nudity in this calendar. It's more of a fun and flirty aesthetic. Though Rachel Kramer Bussel's beautiful and bountiful, bare and spanked bottom made in it into the calendar. Next year, more skin!

It's one person per month, right, or did you do any group shots?

It is one person a month this year. I have visions of joining up with out-of-town bloggers next year and having at least two people pose for each month. That, however, would mean a much more rational timeline. This went from brilliant idea to photo shoot in three weeks.  

Any funny anecdotes or wardrobe malfunctions during the shoot?

Walking through the lobby of our hotel and then down Allen Street clad in our outfits got us some interesting looks from the staff and on the street. But this is NYC, after all, and strange things are pretty normal here. The prior evening while on our way to the Slipper Room, the location of our shoot, we saw a crowd assembled and I pushed my way to the front to find a woman clad only in a strap-on and boots inside a bodega. She emerged saying she was going to see how far she got before being arrested and then headed her bare-assed way down Orchard Street with a crowd in tow.  

Also, Jamye, while in pursuit of that golden lasso, found herself swarmed by young children asking to have their photo taken with Wonder Woman. One man even told her Wonder Woman had always been his fantasy and then proceeded to ask her out on a date. I think she turned him down.

As for wardrobe malfunctions, there was a moment when my always-unruly boobs popped out of my corset as Sinclair dipped me. Facebook took a dim view of that particular shot.

Will each participant get a say in which pic gets used? Who's editing?

Our fabulous photographer, Stacie Joy, picked the best shots of all the pin-ups and sent everyone their own best shots. We each got to pick our favorite from those.  

How much will the calendar cost?

The calendars are priced at $20 and can be purchased either online at our blog or in person at release party, which is happening November 14th from 6:30 to 9:30 at White Rabbit. If you show up and are really nice to us, we may even sign them for you. We hope to have them stocked in independent book stores and sex toy shops.

Who's your target market?

Anyone who likes sex and sex writing! And, of course, anyone who wants to be part of our effort to make a difference by supporting Sex Work Awareness. We're even considering a drive to send calendars as a way of thanking sex-positive representatives or to persuade the less than sex-positive to reconsider. In this current political and cultural climate, where sex workers are often considered freaks, mentally or emotionally unstable or drug addicted, I think it's time to bring down these myths and replace them with facts by supporting education initiatives such as SWA.

We also sold days on our calendar to kink events, sex toy manufacturers, and bloggers making our calendar a great tool for keeping all this information at your fingertips. Some companies, like Liberator and OhMiBod even gave us discount codes you can use when you order their products.

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Right Now on Glamour.com



via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 11/5/08

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  • Glamour.com suggests 13 dude-approved presents for the hard-to-shop-for guy in your life. But considering there's a mix-tape USB memory stick, a PoGo printer, a three-slot charging station, and monogrammable beer mugs on the list, they make pretty good gifts for the Em & Lo in your life, too.
  • Erin from Single-ish says her sister knows exactly where your future husband is. We hope for the sake of every single-but-searching girl in the big city that she's very, very wrong.
  • Forget T&A, do you know "the new sexy body part" that's getting some major attention from fashion designers? Thankfully it's not bellybuttons. We're hoping next year it will be elbows!



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Sex Dream Analysis: "I Keep Cheating on My Boyfriend"



via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 11/6/08

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Very rarely are other people's dreams interesting...except when they're about sex. This week dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg addresses accidental nocturnal infidelity:

Maybe you guys can help me figure out this weird dream that I've had several times. First, a little background: I am 26, I live in Rhode Island, I've been with my wonderful boyfriend for a year, and we have great sex. Really great, actually. Anyway, the dream is pretty simple -- I have sex with someone (not my boyfriend) without realizing it, and by the time I come to my senses, it's too late and I've cheated. The guy I sleep with in the dream varies: once it was my boss, who is about 20 years older than me and not attractive, and another time it was an ex boyfriend. It's always the same thing, though. I sort of hazily, dreamily hook up with the Other Man, and then, once the deed is done, snap to my senses and realize with horror that I've just committed an awful infidelity. I always wake up feeling shaken and creeped out, because in real life, I have no desire to cheat on my boyfriend. What does this MEAN? Help!

Does Rhode Island gal have anything to feel guilty about? Find out after the jump (right after you send us your own dreams!):

Lauri Loewenberg:
Mazel Tov on your healthy sex life! Keep it up, sister! Those cheating-without-realizing-it dreams are very frustrating, but not to worry. They don't mean that there is a trampy, cheating harlot inside, waiting to break free! You are getting these dreams because you are probably giving your time, attention, and affection to something that does not involve your boyfriend. Since one time the other man was your boss, it may be a good indication that work may be the culprit. Do you sometimes work too much or find yourself going on and on about work, much to your boyfriend's dismay? The fact that you are getting these dreams means you are aware and sensitive to something that is causing your boyfriend to feel left out, or something that is causing him to feel "cheated" out of his time with you.



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Keith Olbermann on the Book of Love



via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 11/12/08



An amazing "Special Comment" from Keith Olbermann last night on gay marriage.



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A Day in the Life of a...Porn Librarian

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One Hand Gesture Is Worth Two in the Bush



via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 11/14/08

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Um, wait, what? A friend just sent us this picture, apparently taken this week, and uploaded to this White House URL (sure to be taken down any second now). We too asked our friend, "Isn't that the symbol for the tricky handwork move known as 'the shocker," i.e two fingers in the va-ja-jay and one in the bum?!" Well, yes and no.

Apparently, the picture has something to do with the Arizona State University's softball and track and field teams--each won national championships and visited the White House this week. The Sun Devil is their mascot, and he carries a pitchfork, which this hand gesture represents. Plus, it looks like the letter W, for George W. Bush. And technically speaking, the the shocker would have your index and middle finger pressed together. 

But at first glance you've got to admit it looks an awful lot like "the shocker," which is why we, being the two very mature and responsible sex writers that we are, felt obligated to post it. Sure, it's an innocent, unfortunate, accidental pornographic reference made by an unknowing administration, but one we think is symbolic of how utterly obscene this government's policies have been--and how they've basically screwed the country over.



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Sex Dream Analysis: "My Ex-Husband and I Are Having Crazy Sex"



via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 11/17/08

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Very rarely are other people's dreams interesting...except when they're about sex. This week, dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tackles a mysterious reappearing ex.

I have been having dreams about my ex-husband lately. I am kind of confused because I keep wondering if leaving him was the right choice and now I have these intense dreams that are so real it scares me. All the dreams I have about him are different but they all involve sex or heavy petting. And sometimes we do crazy things during sex that we never did while we were married. I would really love to know what is going on here because I am in a relationship now that I have been in over a year and it just all of a sudden started happening.

Should she go back to the well, or is she just dreaming in rose-tinted glasses? Find out after the jump (right after you send us your own dreams!):

Lauri Loewenberg:
Your uncertainty over the end of your marriage is the cause of these dreams. Because you question yourself, the idea of still being with your ex is alive and well inside your mind and rises to the surface while you dream. Now, since it seems to be only sexual activity that is involved in these dreams and nothing else, I'm going to have to ask you a very personal question...how do your ex and your current relationship compare in the ol' knockin' boots department? Perhaps your dreaming mind is trying to compensate for what you aren't quite getting with your boyfriend. And perhaps you are doing wild and crazy things with your ex that you never actually did because your boyfriend may not be giving you enough variety. Since you've been with your current guy for over a year, and these dreams are just now starting, it may be that you are beginning to realize he could be around for some time to come, in which case your dream self is nagging you to spice it up, oil it down, spank it...you get the idea!

Submit your own sex dream for analysis to dxxxx@xxxcom. Anonymity guaranteed!



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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Unlikely MacBook Pro Photo Circulates

Black lining around the screen looks sexier. I'm sold.



Image found on T-Systems.de


Existing promotional image
A possible though unlikely image of the upcoming MacBook Pro has circulated on the internet this morning and appears to have originated at German retailer T-...



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Friday, August 29, 2008

College Confessional: Sex on Campus

oh! I did that millions of times..

via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 8/21/08

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As a sort of "back to school" post, our soon-to-be-senior Maddie Phillips reviews the best and worst places to do it on campus (*asterisked items are her "been there, done that" locales):

THE BEST:
 
Library*: Classic. Who hasn't had that hot librarian fantasy? You can play it out on location by making a special trip to the top floor of your university library. Just make sure you keep the noise down, of course.
 
Study Lounge*: This should come as no surprise to anyone who has lived in a dorm before. My boyfriend and I both had roommates that were usually around at night when we wanted to, um, get it on 'til the break of dawn. So, we would lay down for a bit until it was late in the evening and sneak into the study room down the hall and barricade (the lockless) door. 

Laundry Room*: Hot bumping and grinding combined with even more hot bumping and grinding.
 
Empty Classroom: Now this is the kind of extra credit that would draw some attendance. This works best if it's the classroom of your most hated professor.
 
Campus Theater:
You may feel inspired to really emote, just don't "act out" any orgasms--keep 'em real.

Music Rehearsal Room*: Aren't they all for making beautiful music? NOTE: Sound-proof walls are like magic.
 
Campus Television Station: If there was ever a place to make a video...
 
On the Lake*: Not every school has one but Oswego sits right on Lake Ontario with the bragging rights of one of the most beautiful sunsets in the world. If your school is near a body of water that you haven't had sex in, on, or near, then you have your work cut out for you this semester.
 
Racquetball Court: The only truly private room in our school gym is the racquetball room. I'm excited to get in there and work up a sweat this semester.
 
Rooftop*: It can be a bit difficult to gain access, but if you can it's worth the work. NOTE: You might want to make sure you're on the highest building in your general vicinity; otherwise you won't be without an audience.
 
Art Studio*: My ex-boyfriend was an art major, which apparently requires a lot of late nights in the studio. I went with him once for a photo shoot he was using me in which unsurprisingly turned erotic quickly. If any one walks in I suppose you could always claim you were practicing your life drawing.

THE WORST:

Community Showers*: Obvious, uncomfortable and dirty. I don't know why people think this is sexy. It's usually filthy, and has terrible lighting.
 
Parking Lot*: I'm all for car sex. As a matter of fact I'm a huge fan. But I'm no exhibitionist and sex in a school parking lot is just inviting voyeurism.
 
Bathroom Stall: I'd rather do it in the community shower.
 
Elevators (in service): Unless you are superhuman and you climax faster than a speeding bullet, I don't see anyone truly getting off in an elevator. However, if the elevator is docked, you're in business.
 
Stairwells: Hmmm...sex in the wake of a million dirty footprints. Pass.
 
Hallway: There is adventurous... and then there's dumb.
 
Roommate's Bed*: I hope my roommate never reads this...this one is a bad idea because in the throes of passion it's likely you'll leave evidence. Also, your roommate has a key to her own room, which might mean awkward walk-in. Plus, it's just plan rude to invade someone's personal space like that. Not worth the risk (realized in retrospect.)
 

ALL-TIME WORST PLACE
 
In Your Own Bed (when your roommate is still in her/his bed)*: I really hope my roommate never reads this! Picture it: Your roommate skipped her morning class and is selfishly cutting into your usual morning workout routine. Do you risk playing the "Don't wake the roommate" game? I know what you're thinking: "Well, if you're quiet enough...maybe." The correct answer is NO. Never. You are not Chuck Norris: Your roommate will know that you're doing the nasty right next to her (whether she let's you know or not) and she will hate you--forever. Besides, who wants quiet, cautious, borderline paranoid sex anyway?



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Poll: Is Pubic Hair Dye a Sign of the Apocalypse?



via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 8/25/08



This fake fashion show of couture pubic hair designs by Stefane Monzon "sponsored by" Remington pretty much sums up how we feel about the beauty/fashion industry: the lengths people, especially women, go to for external beautification are absolutely ridiculous...just don't ask us to give up our trips to Aveda!

We were reminded of this hilarious video when an overseas sex toy shop sent out a press release announcing they are carrying Betty, "color for the hair down there." Turns out pubic hair dye wasn't just something made up for an episode of Sex and the City. Yes, you can now match the carpet to the drapes, cover gray or just freak out your partner (along with blonde, brown, black and auburn, they've got hot pink and aqua blue) with dye made specifically for the short and curlies of your most sensitive area. In fact, the site claims it has amassed over 100,000 users of its product in the last two years. Is this just more fun to be had with your sexual physical identity or further proof that women need to use less brain power on the minutia of grooming if they want to head more Fortune 500 companies, earn as much as men for the same job, and/or become president?
What do you think of pubic hair dye? (you can choose more than one)
( polls)



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Advice Redux: How Should I Store My Sex Toys?

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When Someone's Been a Very Naughty Boy...

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Sex Dream Analysis: "My Husband's a Lying, Cheating Bastard"



via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 8/27/08

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Photo via Splash


Very rarely are other people's dreams interesting...except when they're about sex. This week dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tackles a sex nightmare:

Current dream is my husband cheating, woman is always super nice, he is never apologetic and defends her. I smack him around but my blows never touch him.

Should she hire a private investigator? Start cheating on him in her own dreams? Find out after the jump (right after you send us your own dreams!):

Lauri Lowenberg:
Unless you have a really good reason to suspect hubby of getting his pleasures elsewhere, I wouldn't start snooping through his pockets and his drawers (either kind) just yet! Ask yourself what he is doing that is causing you to feel "cheated" out of your time with him. He must be giving his time, attention, and possibly even his affection to something that does not involve you. Is it work? The Wii? Maybe he's tinkering around with the hot rod in the garage? He's never apologetic in your dreams because, in real life, he may have no idea that you are feeling a little left out. And your blows never touch him because your dream is showing you that you aren't "reaching him" in the old communication department. Once you are able to pinpoint what it is that he is doing that is causing a bit of jealousy, let him know. There may be a dinner at a four-star restaurant in it for ya. Sweet dreams!

The dreamer responds: Wow! I think you got it! My husband is working a lot and traveling. His job is very high stress and people are constantly demanding his attention. He makes million dollar decisions. So when he comes home he is quiet and wants to be left alone. He also travels more and I sometimes feel left behind, like he is becoming more worldly and experienced than me. I often worry about him meeting another woman who, like him, is worldly and not just a little school teacher like myself. Yes, it is difficult to communicate with him, he is very stoic. So nothing more juicy than being married to a workaholic.

Submit your own sex dream for analysis to dxxxx@xxxcom. Anonymity guaranteed!



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Before I Die I Want to... Experiment with a Woman

Sure..Every lesbian turned thinks the same way and then there is no going back.

via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 8/29/08

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Photo via Splash

This week's bucket list edition goes out to a whole bunch of women who have written in to say that they're straight but fancy getting jiggy with a lady. Take this note from Allie, for example: "Before I die (actually, before I settle down), I want to sleep with another woman. How do I tap into my bi-curious side, and how do I even find someone to experiment with?" Oh, and if you're on the fence about attacking your own bucket list, consider this: Dave Freeman, co-author of the original 100 Things to Do Before You Die book, died this week at age 47, after hitting his head in a fall (his family says he got through about half his list). So here are a few tips for all you post-college L.U.G.s out there. Go on, do it for Dave!

1. Online personals are the perfect place to find a candidate for your L.U.G. fling. And if you're not quite sure you're ready to jump in yet, it's a great way to flirt with other gals online and get an idea of who might be your type by window-shopping. Just make sure you're honest -- don't go checking the "looking for a serious relationship" box.

2. If part of your bucket list wish is to actually get picked up by a lady (or do the picking up yourself) then just head over to your local lesbian bar. Because believe it or not, you'll find a whole bunch of lesbians there.

3. Many a straight woman who has taken it upon herself to "experiment" assumes that the entire lesbian world will be giddy with excitement at the prospect of a one-night stand with a het gal. So this het gal walks into a lesbian bar and can't believe that the other patrons aren't falling over themselves to get to her. But a lot of lesbians just can't be bothered with the hassle of a woman who may freak out halfway through or just not commit to the cunnilingus. If you're one of those het gals who always relies on the man to make the first move -- shame on you -- you may have to actually get off your butt and do some of the heavy lifting seduction work yourself.

4. No matter how you meet her, whether online or off, be honest about your intentions and (lack of) expectations. Being a L.U.G. for a night doesn't give you the right to act like an asshole playa dude.

5. If your town is all out of gay bars, you could always steer an evening toward a game of Truth or Dare or Spin the Bottle with a bunch of like-minded friends. Because nine times out of ten, those games end up in two girlfriends (meaning girl [space] friends) making out.

6. Buyer beware: If a game of Truth or Dare ends up in two straight(ish) girls making out, nine times out of ten a dude will try to join in. So if you'd like things to go a little further than French kissing, you might want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven and put a lock on the closet door.

7. Buyer beware, redux: Seven minutes is not nearly enough time to get to "heaven."

8. If you're feeling panicked about what to do, consider this: she's got the same parts as you do -- it's not like this is foreign territory. (Tongues and fingers are more than enough, no need to break out the strap-on.) So pretend you're hooking up with yourself and go from there. Just remember that every woman's parts work slightly differently. Which means, the number one rule about hooking up with a woman is to pay attention to how her body responds to what you're doing.

9. Just because you're fulfilling your bucket list dream, doesn't give you the right to be a selfish lover. And just because you're a novice at sapphic love doesn't give you the right to be a lazy lover, either.

10. Have fun! This is only sex, after all. If you're not enjoying yourself, you're kind of missing the point.



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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Advice: What's Better Than Sex?

Offcourse Chocolate



via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 7/24/08

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Hi Em & Lo,

I'm a 25-year-old gay guy living in NYC. I thought I'd ask for your suggestions and inputs for my blog, Better Than Sex. The premise of the blog is that I don't have sex for 100 days but for each of those days, I have to find or do something in NYC that is, you guessed it, Better Than Sex. I started it a little more than a month ago as a social experiment and a way to explore the art and cultural offerings of the city. It could be food, a play, a concert, a hobby or practically anything under the Manhattan sun. Some of the fun things that I've done so far include going on a silent date at the Cloisters; seeing Les Paul, the man who invented the electric guitar and is now 93, in concert; the chocolate cube dessert at Park Avenue Summer [
pictured above]; and randomly going to City Hall to be a witness to a wedding ceremony. I just attended a cuddle party in NJ and will be going to the Russian/Turkish Baths in the East Village later this week. It would be great if you can recommend things/events that would be Better Than Sex (or really bad sex, at least!) that I can explore for my blog. Thanks very much and I hope to hear from you soon!

B.T.S. Boy



Dear B.T.S. Boy,

We love it! Here are our suggestions. We tried to keep most of them either free or at least cheap, but sometimes orgasmic-like fun costs--and unlike with sex, you can't pay in sweat.

20 THINGS THAT ARE (ALMOST) BETTER THAN SEX IN NYC...

1. Taking a Circle Line Sightseeing Cruise Around Manhattan
The 2- or 3-hour cruises will give you a view of all the NYC Waterfalls by Olafur Eliasson. We like the Harbor Lights Cruise at night--it can replace the sex with romance.

2. Riding the Staten Island Ferry
If the Circle Line is too pricey, just take the ferry there and back for similarly spectacular views for FREE. Plus, you can live out your Working Girl fantasies.

3. Sipping Overpriced Cocktails at the Mandarin Oriental
The Lobby Lounge on the 35th floor has amazing views of Central Park and the skyline. Dress to the nines and go at off-peak hours to try to get a good seat--guests get the best ones first, if not all of them. You'll feel screwed when the bill for two drinks comes to $60 bucks.

4. Being a Rockstar for Two Minutes
We're sure some famous frontman said performing in front of a live audience was better than sex--here's your chance to find out: Every Monday night Arlene's Grocery hosts Rock n' Roll karaoke with a live band backing you up.

5. Riding the Cyclone at Coney Island
That rickety, jerky, wooden nightmare will get your I'm-gonna-die adrenal pumping--and when you get off you'll feel like you've gotten off.

6. Visiting Governor's Island for Free
It's that weird military island that was empty for years, but is now open to the public every Friday, Saturday and Sunday until October 12th: You can bike ride, picnic, check out concerts and art festivals, take a tour...the ferry ride and admission to the Island are FREE!

7. Attending a Free Concert of the Music of Johnny Cash
Better to get a ring of fire this way, than through rough anal sex: The River to River Festival has a ton of FREE events, including a Cash concert on July 26th at 8pm with a bunch of artists covering songs well-known and obscure from Johnny Cash.

8. Taking Free Dance Lessons at Lincoln Center
Since you can't do the horizontal dance of love, do an upright one: From July 8-26, 2008, this outdoor dance party called "Midsummer Night Swing" features 25 theme nights--including swing, salsa, disco, funk, and more. Each evening begins with a dance lesson at 6:30 p.m. for dancers of all levels of experience. The live music begins at 7:30 p.m.

9. Taking a Helicopter Tour of Manhattan
Instead of getting blown, blow a couple hundred on a 15-minute aerial tour--the views will blow you away.

10. Attending Free Shakespeare in the Park
The Public Theater is doing Hair this summer, so maybe you can get some nudity that way. (Not sure what relationship Shakespeare had to hippie musicals.)

11. Watching Brooklyn Bridge Park's Movies with a View
They're not showing anything too sexy, but hey, they've got Cabaret on Aug 14th.

12. Swimming in Holiday Inn's Rooftop Pool
For 60 bucks, you can gain access to the rooftop pool at this chain hotel on 57th Street and get as close to sex as you can without having it: undress, get all wet, and feel refreshed afterwards.

13. Going on a Scavenger Hunt
Watson Adventures offers adult scavenger hunts, like "Sex and the Village," based on locations from the show and the movie.

14. Taking a Gay & Lesbian History Walking Tour
Big Onion is one of the biggies when it comes to walking tours and on this one you'll "discover the many facets of lesbian and gay history as we trace the development of Greenwich Village. Stops could include: The Stonewall Inn, The Duplex, and sites associated with Bayard Rustin, Willa Cather, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Audre Lorde." Not sex, but sexual-orientation related.

15. Taking a Flying Trapeze Lesson
Flying has got to be better than sex.

16. Going on a CrazyBlindDate
Just don't have sex on it. (See this post for more details.)

17. Answering a Strictly Platonic Ad on Craigslist
Like this one. Or better yet, this one!

18. Kayaking on the Hudson for Free
The boats are very phallic.

19. Taking a Power Nap in a Nap Pod
Paying to take a nap at Yelo is indulgent, relaxing, and ridiculous, just like sex.

20. Becoming a New York Cares Volunteer
Go to their website, create an account, sign up for and then attend an orientation, choose a project (they have hundreds of one-off or repeat events each month), sign up and start volunteering. Their biggest day of the year is New York Cares Day on October 18th. Helping out makes you realize what a non-issue sex really is.



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PETA: Sexy or Sexist?



via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 7/27/08


This week, in response to an opinion piece in the NY Times on the legal rights of apes in which PETA's moves were referred to as boneheaded, the president of PETA wrote a letter to the paper defending its use of provocative sexual imagery in its animal rights campaigns, saying: "Forgive us our bikinis and our shock tactics, but our message that all beings--both human and nonhuman--deserve compassion and respect is one that we must work hard to make heard." It's a line that's easy for people like those over at Feministing to take issue with, when so many of PETA's ads use female sexuality in a way that seems disrespectful and lacking compassion. See their PETA collage for examples.

Now, we're no apologists for PETA, despite Lo's vegetarian status and her constant urging of Em to give up her foie-gras ways. Ever since their lame "Fur trim is unattractive" ad, we've always been wary of PETA making its messages at women's expense (come on, we're all animals, and we're all furry to some extent). HOWEVER, a quick review of their video library (including their banned ads) and we can't deny they've got some really good, sex-related content that's really not that offensive at all! (Well, unless you're a meat eater.) Here are our 5 faves:

1. "Sex Talk" (video above)
This is one damn funny ad. It's a riff on The Talk parents have with their teenage kids about sex. Unless you're a black market back-alley puppy pusher, you can't not love it.

2. "Sex and the Kitty"
Another fun one about what cats do when you're at work. Who knew kitties had O-faces?

3. "Rude Food"
Basically, vegetable porn. Aw, yeah.

4. "Sexy Sausage: Director's Cut"
A play on '70s porno--it uses a ridiculous porn plotline cliché to show how ridiculous it is that we eat crap that makes us impotent. Yes, there's some typical female T&A, but at least it's counterbalanced by the beefcake guy and the closeup on his package!

5. "Milk Gone Wild"
A parody of the Girls Gone Wild videos: instead of boobies, they've got udders. Because when you think about it--or, at least, when Lo thinks about it--it's kind of gross that we drink another species' breast milk. We wish there were a little more exposition in this one, but we didn't think the now-infamous New Yorker cover of the Obamas needed any explanation, so we'll give it to PETA. Yeah, okay, maybe this one could be considered a teeny bit offensive, though we're no fans of GGW and we thought it was funny. However, their follow-up, "Milk Gone Wild 2: At the Car Wash," is pure gratuitous  titillation, and that really is too bad. Yes, we all have our lines.



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Before I Die I Want to... Make a Home Video



via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 7/25/08

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This week's bucket list edition goes out to reader Rachel, who really wants to make a home video with her guy. And not the kind of home video that would be viewed at family reunions, we're assuming (not intentionally, anyway). Here's how to do it right...

Top Ten Tips on Making a Home Video

1. Do you absolutely, 100 percent, no exceptions, no maybes, trust your guy not to screen the home video for his buddies during guys' night in? If the answer is no, then there's no need for you to read on, because we absolutely, 100 percent, no exceptions, no maybes, forbid you to make a sex tape with this guy.

2. Okay, so maybe you trust him, but shit happens, ya know? Visiting aunts go nosing around your basement, tapes get mislabeled and popped into the VCR at the wrong time. Plus, unexpected heartbreak can do funny things to a person's sense of right and wrong. So, just to be safe, why not insist on holding onto the only copy of the tape yourself? Or maybe shoot yourselves just from the neck up--or just from the neck down. If you're really paranoid, you could always erase the tape as soon as you've watched it once together. After all, at least half the fun is in the making when it comes to your amateur porn vid.

3. You don't have to look like a porn star to make a home sex tape, and you certainly don't have to act like one. Also, maybe we're squares, but we think that making extended eye contact with the camera during a sex tape is a bit creepy.

4. Pass the video camera back and forth between you to take it in turns being the demanding director. Think of the camera as a sex toy (just don't try to actually, you know, stick it anywhere).

5. Feeling camera shy? Dim the lights, try candle light, or experiment with your camera's night vision feature. They're all more flattering than bright overhead lights--plus you'll relax more. Also, no need to disrobe completely if you don't want to; sometimes a few well-placed skimpy items of clothing is sexier than nothing at all.

6. Fancy making a themed sex tape? Why not role-play a celebrity sex tape coupling?

7. Never ever ever shoot from below--this is the least-flattering angle known to mankind. Normally we hiss at advice columnists who tell you about sexual positions that flatter your figure (evil incarnate!) but this is a sex tape we're talking about and, let's be honest, we're all vain. That said, no matter what you think of your body now, we guarantee you'll look back on it fondly when you're 80. And if you don't make a sex tape now? You may just look back on it slightly wistfully, too.

8. Be sure to get your partner's permission first (because, duh, it's illegal if you don't).

9. Is the sound of your squeaky mattress making the whole thing feel too slapstick? Then crank the tunes and pretend you're on MTV. (Seriously, have you seen the music videos the kids are making these days? Total soft porn.)

10. And, most importantly of all, have fun! Because a smiley happy sex tape is usually a lot less cringe-inducing to watch than you trying to do your best Jenna Jameson impression.


Don't forget to send us your "before I die" sexual wish at bxxxx@xxxcom.



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Soulmate or Soul-Sucking Booty Call? You Decide.

Soul mate is bull shit, its all about sex



via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 7/28/08

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We got such a great response the last time we threw an advice question over to you guys that we decided we should make it a regular occurrence. Our inbox is overflowing and we'll never get to all the lonely hearts, so each week, one reader's fate will be left up to the masses. Answer this reader's question by filling out the poll after the jump:

Dear Em & Lo,

Okay, so I'm a senior in college and he just graduated from the same school. I've seen him around campus for the past four years and have wanted him oh so badly!! I would read the articles he wrote in our school newspaper, and I would smile and say hi whenever I saw him. But I never actually introduced myself or told him how hot he is because I wasn't exactly sure if he was involved (I saw him around her but didn't exactly know the extent because they're weren't around each other that much) and plus I got nervous when he looked at me and couldn't bring myself to say more than hi.

Okay, so that's the backstory to our situation. Finally this spring, we ran into each other at a Med School party and he introduced himself to me!! We danced and talked the whole night before exchanging numbers. I was so happy!! After that night, we had exams so we didn't get to spend so much time together for a couple weeks. He asked what I wanted in a relationship and whether I was ready for one, I told him no because that was the truth at the time. As time progressed we became friends with benefits. ...

The sex is phenomenal and the company is what I've always wanted. It's been almost four months now and I am ready to be with him. Only one problem: the girl I saw now and again with him back in the day was actually his on-and-off girlfriend for the past four years. She wants him back and calls regularly, she even had her mother call him! We discussed everything and the thing is he likes me a lot and I clearly like him but he's not in love with me and he still has feelings for her though he's not sure if that's because of guilt from breaking her heart in the past or from missing what they were in the beginning. He also said that it's the longest relationship he has been in and doesn't think he'd be able to have another long relationship with another person because he is not a good guy and has commitment issues. So he said that he would give her another chance and see where it goes from there just so that he and she can be sure that it is indeed over.

He asked my take on it and I told him I don't want to lose him and want to let our "relationship" continue to grow, seeing that things are already great and we have so much in common, plus we both like each other and aren't exactly ready to settle down for life just yet. I also told him that I want him to be happy and secure with everything so I support his decision to do what he feels is best, even though he thinks that means going back to her for a while. I meant what I said but I want him back. I have admired him from afar for so long that now it really sucks!! I even went to a psychic (which is so not me) and she said he is my soulmate and I must be very patient with him, in due time he will be mine. Do you think it's true? What do you think I should do? We have agreed to continue the friendship. He said he needs me in his life. He loves my sense of humour and cool demeanor and the fact that I'm so easy to talk to: he loves my company. Funny thing is, these are all the qualities I admire about him too and that's why I agreed to be friends. Is this the right thing to do? What's your take?

--Back-Up Girl

What do you think?
What should Back-Up Girl Do?
( polls)



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