College Confessional: Sex on Campus

oh! I did that millions of times..

via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 8/21/08

As a sort of "back to school" post, our soon-to-be-senior Maddie Phillips reviews the best and worst places to do it on campus (*asterisked items are her "been there, done that" locales):

THE BEST:
 
Library*: Classic. Who hasn't had that hot librarian fantasy? You can play it out on location by making a special trip to the top floor of your university library. Just make sure you keep the noise down, of course.
 
Study Lounge*: This should come as no surprise to anyone who has lived in a dorm before. My boyfriend and I both had roommates that were usually around at night when we wanted to, um, get it on 'til the break of dawn. So, we would lay down for a bit until it was late in the evening and sneak into the study room down the hall and barricade (the lockless) door. 

Laundry Room*: Hot bumping and grinding combined with even more hot bumping and grinding.
 
Empty Classroom: Now this is the kind of extra credit that would draw some attendance. This works best if it's the classroom of your most hated professor.
 
Campus Theater: You may feel inspired to really emote, just don't "act out" any orgasms--keep 'em real.

Music Rehearsal Room*: Aren't they all for making beautiful music? NOTE: Sound-proof walls are like magic.
 
Campus Television Station: If there was ever a place to make a video...
 
On the Lake*: Not every school has one but Oswego sits right on Lake Ontario with the bragging rights of one of the most beautiful sunsets in the world. If your school is near a body of water that you haven't had sex in, on, or near, then you have your work cut out for you this semester.
 
Racquetball Court: The only truly private room in our school gym is the racquetball room. I'm excited to get in there and work up a sweat this semester.
 
Rooftop*: It can be a bit difficult to gain access, but if you can it's worth the work. NOTE: You might want to make sure you're on the highest building in your general vicinity; otherwise you won't be without an audience.
 
Art Studio*: My ex-boyfriend was an art major, which apparently requires a lot of late nights in the studio. I went with him once for a photo shoot he was using me in which unsurprisingly turned erotic quickly. If any one walks in I suppose you could always claim you were practicing your life drawing.

THE WORST:

Community Showers*: Obvious, uncomfortable and dirty. I don't know why people think this is sexy. It's usually filthy, and has terrible lighting.
 
Parking Lot*: I'm all for car sex. As a matter of fact I'm a huge fan. But I'm no exhibitionist and sex in a school parking lot is just inviting voyeurism.
 
Bathroom Stall: I'd rather do it in the community shower.
 
Elevators (in service): Unless you are superhuman and you climax faster than a speeding bullet, I don't see anyone truly getting off in an elevator. However, if the elevator is docked, you're in business.
 
Stairwells: Hmmm...sex in the wake of a million dirty footprints. Pass.
 
Hallway: There is adventurous... and then there's dumb.
 
Roommate's Bed*: I hope my roommate never reads this...this one is a bad idea because in the throes of passion it's likely you'll leave evidence. Also, your roommate has a key to her own room, which might mean awkward walk-in. Plus, it's just plan rude to invade someone's personal space like that. Not worth the risk (realized in retrospect.)
 

ALL-TIME WORST PLACE
 
In Your Own Bed (when your roommate is still in her/his bed)*: I really hope my roommate never reads this! Picture it: Your roommate skipped her morning class and is selfishly cutting into your usual morning workout routine. Do you risk playing the "Don't wake the roommate" game? I know what you're thinking: "Well, if you're quiet enough...maybe." The correct answer is NO. Never. You are not Chuck Norris: Your roommate will know that you're doing the nasty right next to her (whether she let's you know or not) and she will hate you--forever. Besides, who wants quiet, cautious, borderline paranoid sex anyway?

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Poll: Is Pubic Hair Dye a Sign of the Apocalypse?

via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 8/25/08

This fake fashion show of couture pubic hair designs by Stefane Monzon "sponsored by" Remington pretty much sums up how we feel about the beauty/fashion industry: the lengths people, especially women, go to for external beautification are absolutely ridiculous...just don't ask us to give up our trips to Aveda!

We were reminded of this hilarious video when an overseas sex toy shop sent out a press release announcing they are carrying Betty, "color for the hair down there." Turns out pubic hair dye wasn't just something made up for an episode of Sex and the City. Yes, you can now match the carpet to the drapes, cover gray or just freak out your partner (along with blonde, brown, black and auburn, they've got hot pink and aqua blue) with dye made specifically for the short and curlies of your most sensitive area. In fact, the site claims it has amassed over 100,000 users of its product in the last two years. Is this just more fun to be had with your sexual physical identity or further proof that women need to use less brain power on the minutia of grooming if they want to head more Fortune 500 companies, earn as much as men for the same job, and/or become president?
What do you think of pubic hair dye? (you can choose more than one)
( polls)

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Advice Redux: How Should I Store My Sex Toys?

via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 8/26/08

About a week ago we began answering this question in a post and asked you for other bright ideas. Well, we got some great suggestions in the comments. Plus, we did a little more investigative research of our own. And so we've decided to do a more comprehensive list of sex toy storage solutions -- here are 17. Just remember to abide by the storage rules we outlined before...

1. Devine Toy Storage
This is probably the most stylish line of purpose-made sex toy storage containers available. They've got a lockable toy box, a carry-on, a condom cube (which could be used for a little bullet vibe or vibrating cock ring), a satchel (pictured above) for bigger items like a paddle or a bunch of stuff for a naughty weekend, even a lingerie envelope. The site is cool, but you can't get a great feel for what they really look like until you visit other sites that have them for sale, such as Babeland and Feel Your Passion.

2. For Your Nymphomation Collection
Hands down, the best name in the biz of sex toy storage. They've got various-sized toy boxes (even one specially designed for your Hitachi Magic Wand), various-sized individual toy cases (including a tubular one in the shape of a heart, aw), a bridal collection for the best bachelorette party gift ever, bdsm cases for long floggers, even a big rolling suitcase with about a million pockets inside (for dominatrices, Tupperware-style sex toy party throwers, and people really addicted to sex toys).

3. Three Number Combination Lock Boxes
These are lightweight boxes with metal trim lined with either a black vinyl or black velvet interior. Erotic Rites has three styles available (black, silver, and pink with a butterfly pattern). BetterSex has a larger version of the pink box.

4. Fun Factory Cans and Bags
Of course our favorite toy manufacturer makes something cool to store their prod in. They've got a striped can and a silver can for their smaller toys like their Smartballs and miniVibes, as well as a velvet bag with satin lining for most of their standard-sized vibes and dildos. Eden Fantasy has got both cans.

5. Sneaky Sack
Holistic Wisdom has a whole series of sex toy storage products. The first is a locking bag that's antimicrobial, washable, and durable with three separate storage pockets!...

6. Zomi Bags
Holistic Wisdom also has bags in oriental silk brocade big enough to carry multiple bedside accessories (way better than animal print).

7. Separation Bags
Finally, Holistic Wisdom has individual bags to prevent toys from coming into contact with each other. They come in three fabrics -- neon crush, organza, and satin -- all, unfortunately, in shades of purple.

8. Sex Toy Pillow
They look like regular throw pillows, but there's a secret zippered compartment, usually lined with silk, for storing all your sex toys and lubes. The concept is awesome, though we wish the fabric choices weren't so lame. There's the animal print and the grandma pattern. See #15 for another idea.

9. Under the Bed Storage Container with Foam Padding
The typical plastic flat storage containers are great if you've got a bunch of toys to store, though they're usually clear, which isn't that discrete. But take DailyBedpost reader Donna's awesome suggestion and get a stock foam case insert you can customize to your individual toy needs and voila!

10. Shoe Organizers
There are under-the-bed, hang-in-the-closet, and, like DailyBedpost reader Lolita recommended, over-the-door varieties.

11. Tool Box
DailyBedpost reader Stan said he went to the local home supply outlet and got a manly tool chest ("for my, uh, tools").

12. Tackle Box
Homemade-Sex-Toys.com recommends a tackle box: "This box keeps everything in its place and protects your toys from dirt and dust, and the transparent lid lets you keep inventory of your toys and supplies. With its low profile, it's perfect for sliding out of sight under the bed or sofa."

13. Plastic Desk Tray
While we didn't think Homemade-Sex-Toys.com's suggestions of using a tool belt, a spice rack or a vertical desk organizer were all that practical, the plastic desk tray could work if put in a drawer and perhaps covered with a towel.

14. Around-the-House Re-Purposed Separation Cases
Makeup bags or old clean socks are a cheap and easy way to keep each of your toys from touching each other, from clinking around in a drawer, and from gathering dust.

15. Make Your Own
DailyBedpost reader Jen said she crocheted her own cases for each of her toys. The DIY Network tells you how to make your own pillow with a secret pocket.

16. Book with Secret Compartment
You can pay a lot of money for one like this. Or, like we said before, you can make your own, just like Tim Robbins in Shawshank Redemption. Here's how.

17. The Box the Toy Came In
If you bought a cheap novelty toy (shame on you), it'll have come in a cheap plastic box you should just throw away (consider ditching the toy too). But if you invested in a nicer toy (that'll be nicer to your body), then chances are good it came in it's own nice carrying case, like the like the Delight or the Fukuoku 9000.

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When Someone's Been a Very Naughty Boy...

via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 8/28/08

Rachel Kramer Bussel is a prolific producer of erotica anthologies--the last time we spoke with her, we marveled that she was the editor of not one but two anthologies just on spanking alone. Well, turns out that she still had more to show and tell when it comes to spanking, because she just put out her third anthology on the topic: Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. We figured it was about time with sat down with Rachel for a good ol' natter about the art of spanking.

What makes a good spanking story?

Buildup and anticipation. You have to show the reader why the person wants to spank or be spanked, what about their partner drew them in; is it a case of them just needing to be spanked, or is there something about this particular person that makes them want to bend over? Creativity is key too; there are so many ways you can get spanked, so many implements and scenarios. Yes, some may be clichéd (schoolgirl, punishment, etc.) but even those you can add new life into if you do it right.

This is your third spanking anthology! Is there really that much to say about spanking?

I think spanking is so varied because it touches on the physical and emotional, and each encounter is different.

So what's the physical appeal of spanking?

I'm not a doctor so I don't know exactly, but for some people the charge they get from being spanked turns them on, plain and simple. Everything from the positioning (bent over, for example) to the way the spanking impacts your genitals, can cause arousal. For me, it's one of the fastest ways to get me close to orgasm, and that happens very quickly--not every single time, but if the other person is into it and we're connecting on that kinky level, yes.

After the jump: D.I.Y. spanking props, spanking roleplaying, and the spanking "sweet spot," oh my!...

And it's not just about the physical feeling, right? It's also about the sound, and the visual? There's a reason why the subtitle is "Red-Cheeked Erotica"...

It's definitely about the sound, the visual effects, the mood, the motives behind the spanking. For some people, it's purely physical--they get off on the sensation of being spanked, like any other sexual act, and it's not necessarily about who in particular is doing the spanking. But I think for many, if not most, people into spanking, it's also about the mood. Spankings can be happy and playful, like in L. Elise Bland's "The Breeding Barn," or they can be intense and dark like my "The Depths of Despair" [both stories in this anthology]. They can be about mock punishment, or about living out an alter ego. The positioning is also important: having someone over your knee, versus bent over a chair versus against the wall, can make a difference in the spanking dynamic.

What would you say is the emotional appeal of spanking?

Gosh...to me, spanking strips away so many of the outer layers of protection I have around my emotional core, in a way that even sex doesn't always do. When I'm being spanked, I'm so in the moment; all I care about is when the next smack is coming and how it feels and whether I'm doing a "good job" of being a spankee. It's such a rush and it brings out all my needs to be wanted and praised. And when I'm spanking someone, I'm always just in awe that they'll let me do that, let me go there; it often gets very heated (in both senses of the word), very fast. For a lot of people, getting spanked is a way to be vulnerable and let go. In my story in Spanked, the protagonist wants to cry during her spanking; I think people cry from being spanked not so much because it hurts per se, but for the same reason people cry sometimes after sex--it's so powerful their body just needs an outlet.

Is there usually some element of role-playing in spanking? (i.e. "Someone's been a naughty boy...")

There definitely is for many people; others simple love spanking and don't need that element. But I think many want to be told they've been "bad" and transgressed in some way. Spanking is excellent for all kinds of roleplaying, and can help get you in the mood. Some people prefer or need this to feel like it's okay to explore spanking; it gives them an out, so as opposed to having to say (even to themselves) "I want to be spanked," they can say, "I've been bad, so I deserve to be spanked," even if everyone knows that they're really the same thing.

What would you say to someone who wants to try spanking but is afraid they'll feel silly and laugh?

First of all, it's okay to laugh; it can be fun and it's fine to find spanking both amusing and hot. Second, why not go for it? The worst that happens is you find it ridiculous or not fun and you do something else. What I like about spanking is that it can be totally lighthearted--you can basically play "drums" on someone's butt--or it can escalate into something super erotic. It's all good. There's no right or wrong when it comes to how to conduct a spanking. That being said, even I find it challenging at times to ask to be spanked, especially if I'm asking someone and don't know if they're into spanking or not. It can be nervewracking but is worth a shot. What I love about spanking is that it can go from silly to totally serious and sexy (and vice versa) in a second, just based on a tone of voice or the tension between the people.

What's your number one spanking tip?

If you're giving a spanking, teasing and anticipation (and maybe a little frustration) are always good. Especially if the other person is just dying to be spanked, withholding that reward can be hot; see how far they'll go to get that spanking. Make them beg. It'll still feel good later.

What's one thing that a lot of people do wrong when spanking?

Go too fast and play too rough. You don't need to spank them as hard as you possibly can for them to enjoy it. Feel them out; if you know they can take a lot or are into it, sure, go ahead and slap them hard. Then maybe wait a moment and do something else or lightly stroke the area you spanked. The joy of getting spanking isn't necessarily taking as much as you can immediately (or ever). There's much to be said for building up a spanking, both in a single session and over time. You can always give them something to look forward to, and often spanking them in the same spot repeatedly can have just as powerful an effect as going all out from the start.

What are some spanking safety tips people should bear in mind?

The part of the butt to focus on is the so-called "sweet spot," the inner quadrant where the butt cheeks meet. You can move around but you don't want to spank the tailbone. Check in with the person you're spanking to make sure they're physically okay and are enjoying what you're doing. If you're a bottom, make sure that you either have a safeword or another way to stop the spanking if it's going too far for your comfort, and also make sure you're okay telling the person spanking you that you need a break. Just because someone is taking a dominant role doesn't mean they know everything about you and your responses. Be extra cautious with things like whips that might wrap around the butt to hit the hipbone; that's a no-no. But mainly for both parties to be aware of the other's limits and just pay attention, especially at first; once you get to know someone and what they're into, you can better know how far to push them (or how far you want to be pushed).

What's your favorite DIY spanking prop?

Books are good! I like rulers even though I probably couldn't locate one easily in my home. Really, though, one of the best, and certainly easiest and cheapest spanking props is your hand. There's something extra intimate about giving or getting a hand spanking, because the spanker feels it as much as the spankee. Next to that, I'd say a ruler.

And what's your favorite purpose-made spanking prop?

I have this fabulous (and fashionable) paddle that's black leather on one side and leopard-print fake fur on the other. It looks cool hanging up, delivers a nice sting, and then can be used to make nice on someone's ass. Pretty paddles are always tops in my book; I just got a new (and, so far, unused) one shaped like a cat. It's purple and I like it cause it looks so damn cute but I know can really deliver a blow. [Shop here or here for some cute spanking paddles of your own.]

Finally, we have to ask: do you think these undies were invented by a spanking fan?

They certainly look like it! Or someone who just wants easy access. Either way, they're hot!


For more information on Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica, visit Spanked.Wordpress.com.

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Sex Dream Analysis: "My Husband's a Lying, Cheating Bastard"

via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 8/27/08

Photo via Splash

Very rarely are other people's dreams interesting...except when they're about sex. This week dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tackles a sex nightmare:

Current dream is my husband cheating, woman is always super nice, he is never apologetic and defends her. I smack him around but my blows never touch him.

Should she hire a private investigator? Start cheating on him in her own dreams? Find out after the jump (right after you send us your own dreams!):

Lauri Lowenberg: Unless you have a really good reason to suspect hubby of getting his pleasures elsewhere, I wouldn't start snooping through his pockets and his drawers (either kind) just yet! Ask yourself what he is doing that is causing you to feel "cheated" out of your time with him. He must be giving his time, attention, and possibly even his affection to something that does not involve you. Is it work? The Wii? Maybe he's tinkering around with the hot rod in the garage? He's never apologetic in your dreams because, in real life, he may have no idea that you are feeling a little left out. And your blows never touch him because your dream is showing you that you aren't "reaching him" in the old communication department. Once you are able to pinpoint what it is that he is doing that is causing a bit of jealousy, let him know. There may be a dinner at a four-star restaurant in it for ya. Sweet dreams!

The dreamer responds: Wow! I think you got it! My husband is working a lot and traveling. His job is very high stress and people are constantly demanding his attention. He makes million dollar decisions. So when he comes home he is quiet and wants to be left alone. He also travels more and I sometimes feel left behind, like he is becoming more worldly and experienced than me. I often worry about him meeting another woman who, like him, is worldly and not just a little school teacher like myself. Yes, it is difficult to communicate with him, he is very stoic. So nothing more juicy than being married to a workaholic.

Submit your own sex dream for analysis to dxxxx@xxxcom. Anonymity guaranteed!

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Before I Die I Want to... Experiment with a Woman

Sure..Every lesbian turned thinks the same way and then there is no going back.

via Daily Bedpost by Em & Lo on 8/29/08

Photo via Splash

This week's bucket list edition goes out to a whole bunch of women who have written in to say that they're straight but fancy getting jiggy with a lady. Take this note from Allie, for example: "Before I die (actually, before I settle down), I want to sleep with another woman. How do I tap into my bi-curious side, and how do I even find someone to experiment with?" Oh, and if you're on the fence about attacking your own bucket list, consider this: Dave Freeman, co-author of the original 100 Things to Do Before You Die book, died this week at age 47, after hitting his head in a fall (his family says he got through about half his list). So here are a few tips for all you post-college L.U.G.s out there. Go on, do it for Dave!

1. Online personals are the perfect place to find a candidate for your L.U.G. fling. And if you're not quite sure you're ready to jump in yet, it's a great way to flirt with other gals online and get an idea of who might be your type by window-shopping. Just make sure you're honest -- don't go checking the "looking for a serious relationship" box.

2. If part of your bucket list wish is to actually get picked up by a lady (or do the picking up yourself) then just head over to your local lesbian bar. Because believe it or not, you'll find a whole bunch of lesbians there.

3. Many a straight woman who has taken it upon herself to "experiment" assumes that the entire lesbian world will be giddy with excitement at the prospect of a one-night stand with a het gal. So this het gal walks into a lesbian bar and can't believe that the other patrons aren't falling over themselves to get to her. But a lot of lesbians just can't be bothered with the hassle of a woman who may freak out halfway through or just not commit to the cunnilingus. If you're one of those het gals who always relies on the man to make the first move -- shame on you -- you may have to actually get off your butt and do some of the heavy lifting seduction work yourself.

4. No matter how you meet her, whether online or off, be honest about your intentions and (lack of) expectations. Being a L.U.G. for a night doesn't give you the right to act like an asshole playa dude.

5. If your town is all out of gay bars, you could always steer an evening toward a game of Truth or Dare or Spin the Bottle with a bunch of like-minded friends. Because nine times out of ten, those games end up in two girlfriends (meaning girl [space] friends) making out.

6. Buyer beware: If a game of Truth or Dare ends up in two straight(ish) girls making out, nine times out of ten a dude will try to join in. So if you'd like things to go a little further than French kissing, you might want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven and put a lock on the closet door.

7. Buyer beware, redux: Seven minutes is not nearly enough time to get to "heaven."

8. If you're feeling panicked about what to do, consider this: she's got the same parts as you do -- it's not like this is foreign territory. (Tongues and fingers are more than enough, no need to break out the strap-on.) So pretend you're hooking up with yourself and go from there. Just remember that every woman's parts work slightly differently. Which means, the number one rule about hooking up with a woman is to pay attention to how her body responds to what you're doing.

9. Just because you're fulfilling your bucket list dream, doesn't give you the right to be a selfish lover. And just because you're a novice at sapphic love doesn't give you the right to be a lazy lover, either.

10. Have fun! This is only sex, after all. If you're not enjoying yourself, you're kind of missing the point.

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